Stomachs on legs are proud to present

Our correspondent in Korea, Coco Solid (see blogpost below) also runs an agony cousin advice blog, philosoflygirl.blogspot.com,
where she drops gems like this on the regular: "I treat office politics like a dancefloor, sometimes I wanna shine - sometimes I'm cool sitting against the wall having a drink and saving my energy."

Here's an excerpt from a recent post, after a chef-dating Auckland waitress wrote in for advice.

Love on the boil


Hi Philosoflygirl,
We had a big family function the other week, lots of people came and my boyfriend's parents stayed with me & my boyfriend.

I went to bed while he and his parents continued talks late into the night.
I woke up and could hear them talking - and my boyfriends mother was telling him that she thought he was happiest when he was going out and working with his last girlfriend...See, his last girlfriend was a chef, and he is too, they were in a big restaurant making lots of money. Since he left her and has been with me, he is about to start his own business and things are financially hard, and I work in a cafe in town so its not like I make much, so together we aren't as rich as what he was with his last girlfriend and can't afford as many luxuries... but I know I support him in his dream, so we can work together one day in our own restaurant that we can own someday...

This has been upsetting me, cause I work hard and help him in his dream to be a chef on his own, and it hurts to hear people think he's better off working back in the hotels. I haven't told him what I heard, but its hard to speak out against someones mum...

Do I tell him what I heard?
Thanks Philosoflygirl...I hope you can help me...
Mere
Freemans Bay, AK.

Whut up girl.
That can easily sound like a tough one.
The good news is its not. I'm about to lay it on you girl so listen up.

Think of it like a 3 layered cake... well a gâteau really. There is your boyfriends completely new direction which is meeting inevitable resistance. Then there is his mothers opinion. The base (and the most important layer) is you. You secretly know you are bringing something less conventional but potentially amazing into his life, it just aint cooked yet. (Booya I get to abuse my food analogy licence, thanks Mere).

We have a saying in my family c/o of our good friend Jodhi Hoani.
"Even Maui had haters". This is especially poignant because it was Maui's own brothers who doubted his fishing abilities. Then he fished up Aotearoa. SHAME.

If the over-heard conversation is upsetting you (and I'm thinking its actually the comparison to his trusty ex that made you insecure) you can definitely tell him. Just be sure to tell him in a way that reinforces the commitment you have for his grand vision. Its pointless to be defensive, critical or lashing out at his mother or his ex. What will that prove? Keep it positive and be the hype-man.

I think you should simply take the classy zen ground and remind him why he chose you to ride shotgun for his slightly edgier future. He aint with his ex anymore so own it. Be as open and supportive as you want him to be when you share what has been bothering you.

And peace out on his Mum. The doubters will eat their words AND your mans incredible food when you dish it up to them yourself in a brand new restaurant. "How do you like them lightly sautéed apples!"

Love
Coco

Image Source

Sometimes when I mentioned to people that I'm married to the chef, I often go through a similar discussion. People tell me how lucky I am and then I tell them yes, but I am but also a tad overweight. They chuckle and often say something to smooth over the awkwardness of having to agree with me by reiterating how lucky I am.

But I do believe they are right. A few extra kilos above my ideal (ok ten more but still within the healthy BMI range, thank god) is really a scant trade off for all the benefits.

Pros of being married to a chef
- access to great produce at wholesale prices
- being courted with delicious meals
- instant acceptance of your beloved by family and friends and increased social invitations
- knowing you'll never go hungry (even as a poor student in Auckland, Melbourne and whilst doing my PhD research in Cambodia, I've always had the privilege of five star dining, Hock would bring home wonderful cheese, great wines etc. In addition, suppliers, who were often friends would give us a lot of great food for free)
- Being with a like-minded and food adventurous person (a big pro for me, I don't care much for fussy eaters)

The other advantage of being married to a chef in my view is getting to live with a person who possesses, as many chef's do, those uniquely appreciable personality traits that chefing so often breeds: masculine stoicism mixed with artistic gentility and a deep appreciation of hygiene. This may sound like a tissue paper promotion but really the same qualities that you are looking for in a box of kleenex are, when you think about it what most people are looking for in their partner, strong yet gentle and very clean. This holds generally true so long as you haven't managed to acquire a love affair with a menial kitchen grunt, or outrageous egotist who yells all the time. There are however some other potential cons.

Cons
- Pudginess (you get fat together, weight loss efforts prove useless)
- Most holidays will revolve around food (again a possible pro, but sometimes annoying to always have to cross town to eat lunch)
- Unsociable working hours (your chef, should you chose to marry one will be working most evenings, weekends, public holidays and special days such as Xmas)
- Maybe better at articulating feelings through food and not words (offers of chocolate cake should be regarded as expressions of love, not further effort to make you fat, I have learned. Say thank you, understand what it means but don't eat it)
- May take particular delight in crass kitchen humour and body art (chefs seem to like hurting themselves, what's a tatoo when you have spent the last ten years burning your arms, have no feeling left in the finger you've repeatedly chopped the top off and have actually come to slightly enjoy the cool burning whip of a cold tea towel across your thigh, ass or other fleshy bodily part)

Those are the main pros and cons as I see them. And for me the pros far outweigh the cons, literally and figuratively. It may have been a different story if he had insisted on making me a wedding dress of cream puffs.

This is a picture of my nana Zena she passed away on Friday at the age of 96.

Not only will I miss her company I will miss her plum pudding , heavily salted peas with mint and baby potatoes dug from her own garden of course (she still lived in her own house until only a few years ago).

Thank you for teaching me how to be not only a better person but more importantly how to smoke fish and eels.

Thinking of you always.

Filled with apple and raspberry for my cutie pie

go ahead, vomit

We had our first unofficial gay marriage at work the other night.

I made the cake.

A gay cake.

Well seems as its all about weddings and celebrations this week, I thought I'd post our celebratory food

Me and Hock's birthdays, and wedding anniversary all fall with a two week radius of each other

So we celebrate by eating yummy things

Wedding/ Birthday dinner at AOI in Bangkok...for the Kaiseki meal (2000 bht per person, or around $60 USD)



in a private tatami room with views of the queen sirikit park...replete with cool horse bell



And the meal began with a lovely place setting a cute grape/ sake pink iced drink


Cream cheese tofu, chilled grated sticky potato??? and grilled fish salad


masterfully cut sashimi course


wagyu beef



sushi course



grilled fish and daikon


home made udon nabe


The evening before my birthday Hock also surprised me with a box of Hokkaido uni and Hokkaido scallops



The uni I had last year for my birthday, but the scallops were a new addition this year. They were beautiful dense large scallops that were a bit like juicy seafood steaks


unlike other scallops that are often pumped full of water to look plump, hokkaido scallops and just all fleshy sweetness and they crisp up in the pan...a trick not likely with ordinary scallops


i put the uni on top of the scallops, drizzled it with really good quality olive oil, a little lemon and pepper and then nearly died and went to heaven


the following morning I was greeted with baked eggs in two different styles, one with chorizo and the other with zucchini and marscapone


Yesterday I spent two hours at the gym, 70 minutes of cardio and 50 mins weights, stretches and sit ups

I got home at 9 pm tonight and went to borrow a cup of milk from my neighbour/ landlord/ co-supervisor/ dept convenor/ professor and he invited me to eat his strange pork chop with pumpkin concoction that he had cooked

And so I had a glass of wine and ate and then drank some more and ate junk food that his 14 year old son had left around the place....

Cheese Balls

And we chatted and I was told him about Hock, my husband, and how lovely he is and that when people meet him they tend to rethink their opinion of me in a good way

and my landlord/ prof/ supervisor said

"You mean he's the yoghurt to your curry"

And I giggled for a long time and said "yes"