Stomachs on legs are proud to present

So, I now find myself further and further west - this time Dubai. The disneyland for adults, where all things artificial can be found, if not valmorphanized from sand, then transplanted from Germany, UK, France, Russia, Philippines, India, and yes even little old New Zealand.

In fact I found myself watching a polynesian folk band with accompaning dance troupe this evening. Transporting us all by Air Polynesia to the many destinations of the Pacific. Now being a young Kiwi man, I couldn't help but have a good old yarn with the performers. It had been a while since I had been greeted with such a phresh-as accent. Even my dear friends Maytel and Hock are eclipsed in comparison. So as I listened to Harry from South Auckland, strum away some bar chords, I was to learn that one of the dancers, a Rarotongan New Zealander, hailed from Brotown's finest Morningside. She, being a worldly 18 year old, was discovered at a hangi where she was performing in a dance-off; Morningside Next Top Model, or something to that effect. The other dancer hailed from Flaxmere, near Hastings. Both towns renowned for their cosmopolitan lifestyles.

However my time has not been simply occupied by conversations with my fellow suburban compatriots. Earlier in the week, I found myself eating white asparagus, kartoffelsalat, lieberkase and sauerkraut and drinking 1 litre steins of Maibock a rye-based beer from Bavaria. Yes that time of year had once again arrived, Bavarian Maifest. Some good old-fashioned knee-slapping drinking, Munchen-style, complete with kitschy Bavarian singers - lulling you away to the uber-sweet melodies of the Black Forest. After the third stein I completely forgot I was living in an Islamic nation, which is devoid of any forest. Such is the magic of Dubai, in creating such illusions and fantasies in a way that not even Walt Disney himself could beat.

However, my experience of listening to a troupe of Filipino singers sing the songs of Tuscany and Umbria whilst dining in an Italian trattoria and hitting the slopes of one of the world's largest indoor slopes, where temperatures outside reach 50 degrees, whilst inside they are minus 10 - took this illusion a little too far (Just like Disney did with Tim Allen in the Shaggy Dog).

So there it is, Dubai, ruled by a conservative minority - (many of which drink various fine wines from plastic pepsi cups in restaurants), yet dominated by people from a multitude of countries, many of which frankly couldn't give a toss about the local culture and decide to implant their own into the vast desert landscape. And to hell if a few innocent camels die in the name of lush fresh white powder snow!