My Supermarket Nemesis

dickmanns box

In terms of healthy eating I give myself a six or seven. I stop a few inches shy of bitter herbal tinctures and drinking wine on auspicious biodynamic dates. We buy very little pre-prepared food. Luckily there are no burger bars or hotdog stands around here, and despite living in cake-proud Germany, I eat cake rarely enough that when I do, I blog about it.

But sometimes, I eat trash. Not fancy truffles or gourmet artisan ice cream.... I'm talking cold, hard trash.

I'm talking about the kind of supermarket foods that exploit the weak and devilish recesses of your soul.

In NZ I had an unhealthy, secretive, co-dependent relationship with Earnest Adams ginger kisses, and Cyclops organic yoghurt with coffee jelly.

Here in Germany, I've recently developed a Dickmann's addiction (the coconut-sprinkled version is pictured above & below). When I first stepped onto German soil, my boss actually gave me a packet of Dickmann's as a welcome gift, but they didn't make too much of an impression on me. Looking back it seems auspicious (or suspicious).
A few years have passed in the mean time, and somehow, within the last few weeks - god knows how or why - I became addicted to Dickmann's. It's a mystery. I'm starting to think they put crack cocaine in those things.

The worst thing is that Dickmann's have a dubious public record - back in the day the proto-Dickmanns were called 'Neger Küsse' (Negro kisses). Dick means 'fat', and a more recent slogan on TV used to go "Man, they are fat, man" (Mann, sind die dick, mann)

I'm told that these nefarious treats are commonly eaten inside white bread rolls at swimming pools. After swimming, kids usually get either hot chips, or they take a Dickmanns and whack the two sides of a bun around it, squashing it into gooey smithereens.

A packet of six costs about one euro and ten cents. They are creepily melty and soft - like sweetened stiff egg whites. With a thin dark chocolate shell, and a thin wafer on the bottom. Rather like a next level mallowpuff or english teacake, without all the biscuit nonsense, and with a much gooier centre.

I'm afraid that I currently have a daily obsession going on. And I've found that a succession of recent kiwi visitors felt the same. Which makes me feel all the more justified in my habit. ....I think it's called 'enabling'.

But I can definitely stop. I just need one more, y'hear?

Just...one...morrrrre....

dickmann bite

Below is a photo of my other supermarket craving, this time from the Biomarkt (organic supermarket). If I'm hungry I can't seem to resist buying a kreta-strudel and scoffing it down before someone tries to steal it from me. (It's crispy pastry with a tangy mix of feta and roasted peppers inside).
At least this particular weakness doesn't have quite the same white trash overtones as Dickmann's. It's like the bogan and bourgeois parts of me are duking it out on the daily.

kreta strudel

What's your supermarket nemesis?

6 comments:

    My friend Carmen said she grew up near a factory that made a regional version of these things (a different brand). She said they were amazing because the inside was very soft and the wafers on the bottom were extra crisp because they were so fresh.

    I just added this paragraph to the main post:
    I'm told that these nefarious treats are commonly eaten inside white bread rolls at swimming pools. After swimming, kids usually get either hot chips, or they take a Dickmanns and whack the two sides of a bun around it, squashing it into gooey smithereens.

    And I thought kiwi kids were kinky for eating salt&vinegar chippie sandwiches.

     
    On 17 May 2009 at 07:42 Anonymous said...

    My nemesis is whittakers white chocolate with macadamia nuts. I don't think I have a bourgeois side, just white trash.

     

    Hey whittakers is kind of classy though... it's no hostess cupcake! white chocolate? tasty trash points there.

     

    I bought a pack of the Australian equivalent of these today - the Snowball. 99 cents for six.

    My supermarket nemesis is Indo Mie Mi Goreng flavoured instant noodles. Nothing but Onion, chili, palm oil and MSG.

     

    hmmm, well I wouldn't say I'm a regular buyer of anything...I'm one of those shoppers that must confound supermarket marketeers because I'm always changing brand alliances, trying out new products and buying things I have no idea how to cook.

    From time to time however I get nostalgic for childhood foods. I recently bought a packet of maggi cook in the pot, "chicken chasseur". I remembered that my mum used to make it. So I made it. It was awful. I also buy tiny packets of nutella from time to time. Recently I have found Gippsland mango and passionfruit yoghurt. I have bought this a couple of times but I have to stop because I tend to eat the whole 300 ml pot in one go.

    Basically I try and not buy bad things because I know if I buy them I will eat them and get even fatter. I guess my special treat each week is to buy an expensive yummy cheese. This week I bought machengo. Last week fresh goats cheese. Yes I guess that makes me bougie.

     

    Lol about the chicken chasseur. I also tend to eat delicious 300 ml yoghurts in one sitting..
    ..luckily my favourite one in Germany (goats milk with chestnut sludge...bourgie) only comes in a tiny pottle of about 4 tablespoons' worth.

    Hey, Tina Fey eats Snowballs - I saw it on TV!


    And instant noodles? Total classic.
    At school we loved to eat them raw, like chips. When not spooning up Raro juice concentrate powder, of course, or raw jelly crystals.
    Kids are sick.

     

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