Suck My Kiss

Kia ora. I'm Coco from Aoteroa NZ. Welcome to my first food nerd essay for Gut Feelings, Stomach on legs. Thanx to the charming Kinako Jam for inviting me, prepare for food world.

Kai/food is one of the things that I can really 'go there' with - right now its a prime time 'vibe' of mine. Not to say its ever been of unimportance to me and I have always eaten four times as much as any homegirl in the restaurant with me, I always show my 'gotta take enough' complex at any pot luck dinner (which unless you roll with food creeps always turns out to be a B-grade let down, and portion-wise I always look like an ex soup-kitchen worker who can't let go. I happily go on to eat like one too).

Food: I love to read, talk and have Phil Collins 'take a look at me now' moments in the kitchen with it. Recently I have managed to reconcile with the complex nature, poignancy and spilt personalities of food. I am now hooking into it like I always have, minus the destructive stoner panic or the avoidable confusion. For years I mused and wondered how something was made. Slowly one by one I'm cracking the code. Home-made bread is now a friend of mine, thats how for real I am. Wilma Flinstone would be snatching my weave off with cooking jealousy these days I reckon. I'm understanding the food matrix and its easy once you face your demons. The blue pill is a bit tart and the red one stains your clothes like beetroot- big deal.

Which essentially leads me onto my latest buzz: Chilli's

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So much to say about this tumultuous pepper. Could waah on about how some ethnic cuisine would get spat out if chilli's didn't save the day. How boring alot of everyday dishes would be without it. I could make the played out point that yeah, they're hot and pretty much every non-western culture rolls their eyes and says 'that old chestnut' whenever this ancient friend is mentioned. (But what I really found interesting is that when I googled Chilli Peppers briefly, I totally FORGOT what a rival Anthony Keidis would prove. One track mind for food, thats me).

Recently a hot top seven, star studded line up of herbs and spices to make you live longer was 'released'. It was:

Chilli Peppers

Onions and garlic got a shout out but didnt make the vip list. The Aguilera's of anti-oxidants maybe. I then saw this brilliant random documentary about a chilli eating competition in Malaysia where 10 national finalists gorged on 2kgs of chilli's. The runner ups ended up in hospital and the winner casually munched his way to no stomach lining and $4000. They all had to URGENTLY eat ice-cream on stand-by which I kinda dug. "He needs Honey & Hazlenut STAT! Dammit Lorraine I'm a doctor not a scooper!" etc etc.
Anyway I think its called a capsicana level, which is the hot index. The average level is 51,000 and the hottest level can be found in an indian chilli pepper at 850,000 - thats gangsta. Said doco then went on to inform me that when they are young chilli's are PACKED with vitamin c, when they are old they go into the uber high vitamin A zone. They help your vision, help your sinuses, your toxins, no matter what age or shape they're in they taste choice. Look up 'the shit' in the index of your cookbook I know what withered spicey health freak awaits you.

Anyway I got the flue. So with all these signs pointing to chilli peppers I harnassed the new found power. I remember the doco saying 'chilli's cut through mucus and illness for a respitory makeover'. "And boy were they right". I cut up half a chilli pepper, some ginger, half a lemon, some lemongrass, licorice and st johns wart tea - and soaked it all in hot water for a magical I'm sick and fucked drink (works in cold water too, laundry-esque but true). It was like chilli's had become a tiger balmed slap on the face from my boxing coach, telling me to 'snap outta it kid' and keep fighting. I can't reccomend this concoction enough to anyone ill, stuffed up or just in need of a zap with a tastebud lazer gun. I hear chilli's make a great coffee substitute for people who require a culinary dominatrix in their lives.

I know cayan pepper drinks have been trendy metabolic booster for awhile now (yep another perk) and now I see why. Either get the powder or if you like raw materials like me, just chop and drink, ghetto I know but its effective. I felt heaps better for it and am currently believing my chilli pepper hype. I wanna end with a poignant quote from that zany rapping bass heavy guitar outfit of the same name just to tie my story together and I think I found it.

"What I got you gotta give it to your mama, what I got you gotta give it to your papa".


    GURL I take off my hat to your everlasting flavour.
    I will never look at the garlic the same way! Chilli down with the firebirds!

    Welcome to the Stomach club...


    haha, so funny about the ice cream


    A little bit of the beer I was drinking came out my nose when I read that.


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